I feel like everyone and their mother has something to say about
soccer fútbol these days, so of course, I’m not going to be the only one not saying anything!
I’ve never been a soccer fan, I don’t know the rules or the names of most of the players, all I know is that the team that scores the most goals wins, so obviously I’m not confident enough to carry on a conversation with anyone that knows more than me, basically I can only talk about it with my daughters, and most of the time I’m just making stuff up because they have no idea either and believe everything I say. But when my country (GO COLOMBIA!!!) is rocking the World Cup after 16 years of not qualifying, emotions are bound to take over my body and I turn into their #1 fan, that, and I suddenly start developing a serious case of Tourette’s. I don’t think I’ve ever cursed so much and so loud since the last time I went on a roller coaster and my shoulder got dislocated. While my mom is (decently) calming her nerves by praying to every single saint out there, with every single rosary she owns and every single cross she has (and of course she has to cross ALL her fingers because if not we will lose), I on the other hand am cursing like a sailor in front of my kids and don’t even care. Do you know what HIJUEPUTA means? It means SON OF A B…and I’ve been screaming it at the top of my lungs for the past 40 minutes because why the hell haven’t we scored yet? Not my proudest moment as a parent. My 6 year old covers her ears because “oh my gosh you’re so loud and you’re not making any sense!”, at least I don’t think she understands what my perfectly pronounced spanish curse words mean and as long as she doesn’t repeat them in front of my husband I should be fine. As much as I try to control my emotions, I just can’t control my language. I don’t know where these words are coming from! I swear my parents raised me right. It’s like the spirit of profanity possesses me or something. And after the games are over I look at my innocent daughters and think oh lord what have I done? They’re going to grow up to be trucker princesses.
I don’t know how my heart has managed so much stress lately too. It works over time on every game, I think it’s getting all the cardio its been missing for the past months, add to that sweaty palms, panic attacks, pulling my hair, nervous tics, anxiety…all of it. Apparently I growl too. Also, my kids have been taking care of themselves, making their own lunches and snacks, I almost let my oldest one drive her sister to the park the other day. She’s 6. No time to be a responsible parent, Colombia needs all of my attention and good vibes.
Pray I don’t have a heart attack or completly neglect my daughters on our next game, which by the way is on the 4th of July, so I will be either celebrating Colombia’s victory and our Independence Day or I will be crying and celebrating our Independence Day because hello USA rocks too!
Let’s hope my mom doesn’t forget to cross ALL her fingers.