While reading my morning paper, I came across a very interesting parenting article (and by paper, I mean BuzzFeed, and by article, I mean a list). It’s a list of 31 products that are supposed to make parenting easier, of course, I immediately started reading because somebody help me please, please, please!

As I was scrolling down the list, I found that I could actually get a lot of use out of these items, so obviously, I started making my Christmas list because last year my husband Santa blatantly ignored the one I left under the tree.

So I’ve picked my favorite (and some pretty ridiculous ones as well) and given you my honest opinion, because I always have one. Ask my husband.

*You can find the original list here.

1. The Grab-N-Go Stroller Organizer 

While it’s true that we no longer use a stroller, I will be purchasing this organizer for my husband, because I am sick and tired of not only having to hold all of my daughters’ crap inside my purse, but also his. For some reason, he seems to think there’s enough space in there to hold his wallet, a magazine, 2 books, a water bottle and snacks. Enough is enough, I have a hump on my back and a dislocated shoulder. Happy Father’s Day.

2. The Slumber Sling

This idea is amazing and I don’t know why I didn’t come up with this! If you want to see the most entertaining bobble-heads in motion, just put my daughters in a car and watch them doze off as soon as the engine starts. Bobbling heads all over my back seat. I used to tape their heads to the car seats, but I think this Slumber Sling is more socially acceptable.

Damn it! I could’ve been so rich!

3. My Buddy Tags

The My Buddy Tag bracelet lets you know when your child is too far away from you, so naturally, I will be buying these in bulk. If you think that wearing multiple colorful bracelets was a thing of the 80’s, well think again, cause I’m bringing this look back. Not only will I make my daughters wear more than one (just in case one or two fall off their wrists), but I will be pinning them to their shoes and clothing. There’s no way I’m losing sight of either one of them. Ever.

4. The BiKN Tag

This is like the Buddy Tags, but BiKN is awesomer (I know that’s not a word, calm down). You can locate whatever the tag is attached to with an app on your phone. Which means, if I put this in my daughter’s pocket, I can find her wherever she is, so I will be buying all the BiKN’s, because when they’re teenagers and they “accidentally” lose it, I will have several boxes waiting to be opened. Because there’s no such thing as being too overprotective.

5. The Orbit Baby Sidekick Stroller Board

First of all, it’s $120 for half a skateboard. So, no. Second of all, I’ll be spending way over $120 in medical bills for every time I trip over it and break my ankle. So, no. Third of all, even if I still used a stroller, I wouldn’t want to push the weight of two kids by myself. So, no. But it sure looks like fun!!

6. The Toydozer

This is supposed to “help” them clean up, I think this will just give them an excuse to throw all of their Legos all over the house. So I’ll stick to what has worked for me. Hide them until they forget they actually own any.

8. The Tangle Teezer

Apparently, this little brush works like magic when it’s time to tame the most knotty of hairs. Well, I already own ALL of these brushes, all the different brands, and not one of them works. Not one. I’ve lost my battle with my daughter’s knots and now she looks like the kid version of Bob Marley. A very cute one, I might add.

8. The Baby Tooth Album

Is this thing for real?? This is gross and wrong and whoever buys this needs psychological help, unless you have a Tooth Fairy complex, and if that’s the case, go get help.

9. Cooling Dish

At first, I thought this was as ridiculous as Justin Bieber. But after reading its description, because obviously I was too quick to judge, I realized that this is THE actual plate!!!  And it’s genius! It cools down your food as you’re serving it! Whaaaaaaat?? I’m buying them in every color. Do you know how annoying kids get when they’re waiting for their meals to cool? PAINFULLY ANNOYING!

And there you go!