dear parents who insist on leaving their kids waiting inside the car

I know, I know, kids can be a HUGE inconvenience, trust me, I have 2 of my own and Oh My God are they an inconvenience! Just the other day I had to go grocery shopping AGAIN because I gave birth to bottomless pits who insist on eating at least three times a day, and of course I HAD to take them with me because it’s “frowned upon” to leave kids unsupervised at home or with your really weird neighbor. Whatever. On our way there, they insisted on talking non-stop. Non-stop! As in both of them talking at the same time, sometimes they would even laugh hysterically! Talk about annoying and inconvenient! Little mouths talking about how excited they are for school to start, or how much fun they have with you at the pool, or about the super awesome park you took them to the other day, blah, blah, blah, annooooying!!! Anyway, as I was saying, I completely understand why you would leave your kid in a smoldering, unventilated car in the middle of summer. I mean, that ought to shut him up for a while, right? Or maybe you didn’t want your kid bothering you while you shopped. Mine do it all the time. They want to cross off the items on my list, they want to get all the ice cream flavors, they want to buy all the candy, they hate the produce section, they want to…wait for it…HELP! So inconvenient. They just stroll along, lingering behind me with their little bouncy steps. It takes me like 20 minutes longer to shop with them! So I totally understand why you would leave your kid alone to melt away in the sauna of a car that’s parked right under the sun in 80 degree weather. Saving 20 minutes of your precious time has no price. I’m sure he’ll be fine!  Or maybe he wasn’t being a pain in the ass, but instead dozed off and it melted your sweet, loving heart to wake him up because he looks like a little cherub when he’s sleeping. Or maybe you were afraid to disrupt his angel-like sleep because oh my sweet lord can this kid throw a tantrum when he’s woken up! I completely understand that you thought it was a better idea to leave him alone in a boiling hot car. You know? Just the same thing happened to me the other day, BOTH my daughters fell asleep as I was parking at the mall. Talk about an inconvenience! I had to wake them up! Double ugh! Luckily, my oldest daughter just threw a medium-sized tantrum. But the youngest one? Would you believe me if I told you that she cried all the way from the parking lot to the mall entrance? I even had to carry her! The nerve!!! I totally should’ve left her suffocating in the car, I mean, the looks strangers gave me! Super. Inconvenient. Or was it that you forgot you had your child with you in the car? Don’t feel bad because I can totally see that happening. You see, one time, I forgot my frappuccino in the car and my delicious, refreshing, icy, cold drink completely melted. I could NOT believe that would happen to my super fancy drink! I was only away for 10 minutes!!! Who would’ve thought the temperature was going to rise that fast!  But you know, frappuccinos, kids, potato, potatoe….

Anywho….you’re doing a GREAT job mama! Keep it up!

Now you're going to have to replace that window. What an inconvenience...

Now you’re going to have to replace that window. What an inconvenience.

*If you’ve never left your kid or pet inside a locked car in the middle of summer or any other day of the year for that matter, then a big high five to you and you should totally follow this blog and be my bff.